The Adoption Story
From the time I
was 8 years old, my mom told me I was adopted. I
think it was because she was afraid that someone else might tell me
first. I don't remember what I thought of this information, but
I'm sure that deep down, it affected me in some way. I had never
known anyone else besides my mom , grandmother, grandfather, and moms
husband "Woody" that I had only met a few times.
Me at 10
Mom always said that if I ever wanted to meet my birth mother, she
would do her best to find her. But at a young age, "Birth Mother"
were just words to me and nothing more. Over time it seemed like
mom was more interested in finding my birth mother than I was, and so
it came to pass.....
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Me pretending to be drunk in Bernie's Beer Joint, the
place I grew up in.
That's my mom in the background on the right wearing green.
My Aunt &
Uncle had been in the Bar business for many years, and they had a place
on Broad & Smith Streets called "Bernie's Drug Store".
While it started life decades earlier as a drug store, and was still
one when I was a young child, they removed the pharmacy and became a
beer joint, selling Beer, Pop, and hot dogs. My Uncle bought it
and ran the business for many years. I grew up there, and even
swept & mopped the place every weekend when I was a Teen.
Photo of me around that time
Around 1976 my Aunt & Uncle decided to get out of that business and
sold it to my mom. She was never a good businesswoman because she
felt sorry for people and let them get away with stealing from her all
the time.
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In 1977, I had
married the girl that I got pregnant and my life sucked. I mean
REALLY sucked. Not only did I not love the girl I married, I
didn't even like her. That would end in a couple more
years, but in the meantime, I walked into Bernie's one day and
mom was sitting in a booth reading the paper. She looked up and
said "Jerry, I think this is your grandfather's obituary in the
paper". "Oh yea?" I said, and sat down. She went on
to tell me that the name and age seemed right, but more importantly,
the mans survivors (children) seemed right.
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The Trip
Mom told me
where the funeral was to be held and if I had any interest, I should
attend. I thought about it and decided what the heck, OK.
You see, at that time, I really didn't care. I never even thought
about the possibility of having brothers or sisters, or meeting my
birth mother. Later, all of that would change when I wanted to
know about the family history, especially our medical history.
But for now, I was just slightly curious. It turns out that the
family lived about 23 miles out of town from where we lived, so I
decided to go......
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So we pulled up
to the church. Mom decided to come along with me. OK,
that's fine. The church was full, with more coming in. I
stood off to the side and asked one of the ushers if the old man had a
granddaughter named "Alice". You see, mom had told me the
day before that she "thought", that I had a sister named Alice.
Damned if she wasn't right because the usher said "Yes, and she's
coming through the door right now". I saw a very short
attractive woman walk right by me. I was 27 at the time and the
woman (I would find out later) was 2 years older than me. I had
already walked up to the front to look into the coffin and see my
grandfather laying there. He was an attractive old man with a
full head of white hair. But I saw no resemblance. I then
asked the usher if the man's daughter (my birth mother) was in the
church. He said "No, she's in that house up on the hill", pointing
directly to the house. I thanked him and went back to the car
where mom was waiting. I told her what the usher said and she
said "well, let's go up there".....
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Only picture I have of the house, which is long gone.
We drive up to
the house. Like many homes in WV, it appears the people mostly use the
back door to get in. Mom walks up and knocks on the door, and in
a minute, a matronly looking lady appears. Mom looks at her and
said "Audrey? Do you remember me?" The woman looks at
mom and says "Your face looks familiar". Mom then said
"Well, I'm Edith ....... and then points to me and says "And that's
your son Jerry". Now WHY she said that I have no idea. I guess it
was just a quick way to explain me. The woman in the doorway went pale,
and started shaking.
I guess she thought that mom was going to drop me off for her to
raise. Only problem there was that I was 27 years old.
They went on chatting. Mom asked her about Alice, my
sister. I then walked up for a closer look. Yea, I can see
some resemblance .
As I stood there, with my birth mother looking nervously back and forth
between me and mom, I had the feeling that the woman only wanted to
close the door, and I was right. But before she did, she let it
be known that she and Alice were very close. SO close that if Alice
found out about me, it would tear the family apart. That's the
only time I ever saw my birth mother, and as me & mom drove back to
town, she asked me if I had planned on meeting my sister. I said
"I don't know. I would like to but after what she said, I don't want to
cause any trouble."
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I HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS
Do I tear the
family apart, or do I get to know my sister? Put yourself in my
place. What would YOU do? I took 2 weeks to think about it,
losing sleep almost every night. Finally, I decided to go for
broke and meet her.....
I got into my car and drove to her town. I asked the locals there
if they knew where Alice ..... lived. It's a small town and
everyone knows everyone, so she was easy to find.
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MY sister lived
in one of the many small white houses in this town. I knocked on
the door. She opens it. I said "Hi, my names Jerry
...., have you ever heard of me?" She said "No".
"Can I talk to you?" People in this small town were more
trusting than they are today so she said "Come in". (as I recall,
her husband was somewhere in the back) We went to the
living room and I said "You'd better sit down for what I'm about to
tell you". I went on to tell her my life story, how
our mother "Audrey" had given me away to a woman who had run an
Ad in the newspaper. I also had brought my birth certificate
showing who my mother and father were. Now here's the REAL
kicker: Turns out that my sister and I not only had the same
mother, but also the same father! That made us full blooded. Why
is that unusual? Because our father was not married to our
mother, and had his own family . So old (let's call him
"Hershel") had met our mother, who wasn't married, had sex which
produced my sister. His wife found out about it and seriously
scolded him, but didn't divorce him. He promised to be a good
boy, but 2 years later he met up with Audrey again and I was the
result. I never found out if his wife knew about me, but when I
showed up at her door about 8 years later to meet my father for the
very first time, she wasn't too happy. (that's a story for
another time)
As we talked, my sister told me something that greatly relieved my fear
of breaking up the family. It turned out that she and Audry never
got along at all. As a matter of fact, Audrey dropped off my
sister when she was a baby to HER parents, and so my sister was raised
by her (our) grandparents. Audrey might drop by once a year or so to
see Alice, but that's all.
We have never been closer to this day. It's like we grew up together
from day one. We cant imagine not having each other in our lives
now....
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Front page of the Daily Mail
While all of
this was going on, I was a photographer for the local newspaper.
I mentioned to the Editor about finding my sister just 25 miles
away. He thought it would make a great human interest story, and
said he'd like to publish it. I contacted my sister and she was
willing to go along, possibly knowing something that I didn't.
You see, it turned out that our mother Audrey had given away FIVE
kids. The first went to her parents (my sister) while the second
went to a lady who ran an Ad in the newspaper (me) and then 2 more went
to Audrey's sister to raise, and finally number 5 went to the local
child shelter where he was picked-up by a rich family up in the
Northern part of the state. Out of all of these, only my sister and I
are full blooded, having the same mother and father. I would
eventually meet the other 3 as time went on, with the last one
showing-up well.... last. The two that went to Audrey's sister
sort of went nuts when they discovered as adults that the woman they
called "mom" all their lives was actually their Aunt. Number 5
turned out to be pretty much a thief and liar, so the two times we met
were the last times. But back to the Kicker.....
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The Dunbar Child Shelter
When the story
of me and my sister hit the newsstands, it also hit the desk of
Audrey's workplace. When she saw the paper, she walked right out
of the building that housed the Dunbar Child Shelter. You see....
she was the head matron there....
Me and my sister's lives completely turned around over the next years
i.e. we both got rid of our problems. She remarried to a great
man and I married twice more. Be aware that I never asked them to
marry me. As a matter of fact, I told them that I was the LAST man they
would want to marry. I learned the hard way that the easiest way to
avoid getting married when they ask YOU, is to say "Hell yes!
Let's get married and everything will be rainbows &
butterflies!". That should scare them off.
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More to come....
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